For the Love of Socials

Last night, several friends/former colleagues stopped in for a visit. Most of them had not yet seen the babies, and I figured that with DW still out of town, this would be a good week to invite a bunch of lady friends over. As the living room filled with bright, witty writers, I was reminded of how much I've missed socializing.

I've spent numerous hours on my favorite website, www.twinstuff.com, over the past year. It's a bunch of forums for parents with twins or triplets to interact. Anyone can post a topic and then people respond with their real-life experiences, advice and support. It's been an amazing source of information for me.

One of the topics that came up recently was the loss of friends. Not as in death, but as in abandonment once the babies arrive. Sadly, I was able to relate easily. While a few friendships have grown stronger recently, many have quickly faded. I figured that it might happen with those friends who aren't parents, but that doesn't seem to be a factor at all. Some of my longest friends, some with kids of their own, have pretty much dropped out of sight, not returning calls, not checking in.

Maybe it sounds like I'm pitying myself, but really, I don't think that's quite it. It's more of a realization of change, an acceptance of how life never idles in the same spot for long. I'm sure it's not intentional on my friends' part, but it saddens me to know that the comfort in some friendships will never return.

DW and I talked about this topic on the phone last night at midnight, when I was rocking Breanna to sleep. (Yes, she stayed up until midnight!) He's noticed a similar trend with some of his dearest friends. We've agreed that it can't be anything personal, but that it's sad nonetheless. We're looking forward to getting to know the new people who are entering our lives. Maybe the new friendships will be easier as people know us as parents from the start.

I asked DW if I seem different - if something I've said or done has pushed friends away. He swears I haven't become a grouch or one of those who only talks about babies (though you'd never tell that based on the content of my blog). He's convinced that it's a combination of people not wanting to "bug" us when they know we're busy with new babies, and people not being able to relate and thus just avoiding us. Whatever it is, life is changing, and I'm becoming much more thankful for the few-and-far-between social opportunities.

To those who are still actively in my life, I thank you for your friendship. To those who've faded into noncommittal blog readers, thanks for the memories. I invite you to remain in my life and know that you're treasured.