The way they talk

I'll be the first to admit, I am easily amused by my kids. The things they say and the way they pronounce them makes me chuckle at least a half dozen times a day.

They love talking about tooting and vehicles and babies and God and water towers and baking and all the wonderful places they spot letters and the size of poop and how much they love the dentist. They've just started roleplaying, Lillian always wanting to play baby Jayda and Breanna is a different kind of Jayda. When they sing the alphabet, each time they get to L they automatically sing "L for Lillian."

Some of my favorite mis-pronunciations include plutterbys and pink-o-lows (sprinklers) and me-plection (reflection) and tattoons and nicnacs (picnics) and neck-a-nicks (necklaces) and many more. Their F sound always comes out as a P sound, so that alone makes stuff sound silly. Life in our house is punny (funny).

Summer Fun

Here are a few of our summer memories so far, captured.

1. We survived our first family trip to the strawberry farm in late June. You probably can't tell in the photo, but I'm carrying Grant in the lead - he couldn't make it even one step without having to stop and snack.

2. The kids artfully made "trees" out of the bag of zip ties Dad left out the morning of July 4 - all in the time it took for mom to pour and deliver a cup of coffee to Dad, who was sleeping in.

3. Fourth of July was spent at home, with the family enjoying the wild and crazy sprinkler.

4. Grant tried out his vintage surfing suit and we all crashed in exhaustion after that afternoon.

5. We rearranged our living room, leaving just enough room for a hiding spot small enough for Grant. He loves peeking out of there!

I yelled back

While at the podiatrist today, talking about my upcoming bunion surgery in October, he tried having a little "chat" with me about the types of shoes I wear. He was shocked and disappointed that I showed up at my orthotic fitting wearing sandals. He implied that I didn't even want to get positive results from the upcoming surgery.

Our conversation went kind of like this.

"What kind of athletic shoes do you wear?"

You mean like tennies? I don't wear tennies.

"What do you wear when you work out?"

I don't have time to work out. I have three little tiny kiddos and a husband who works evenings. Are you kidding?

"Well what do you wear when you're running after kids?"

Whatever I can slip on and chase them in. Sometimes just socks. Never anything complicated.

"What about when you go shopping?"

I pay $20k in daycare annually and my husband took a 75% paycut to move here, and that's the extent of my shopping money.

"What about groceries?"

I try to order them online.

"Well then how do you stay so slim?" (as if he didn't believe me)

I chase after three kiddos and rarely have time to eat. Plus, if you saw me naked, which you never will, you'd know that my bones may be small, but the rest of me is plenty squishy. I clearly do not work out.

"Well then you need to get into some good athletic shoes. I'll write down a couple brands for you to look at and then buy them at one of these two stores."

The $100 sandals I'm wearing came from one of those stores and was recommended by the clerk to be supportive for bunions. Plus, the second I walk in the house with anything with laces, my kids will sniff them out and promptly unlace them and tie them in knots before we even get up the stairs. Plus, I wear dress clothes in my career - I can't wear tennies. We even have a dress code that says so.

"They come in different colors besides just white, you know."

Yes, but have you ever seen lace-up loafers look appropriate with a skirt? Can't I just avoid sandals and instead go with some nice slip-on loafers. Do you know how tight my hamstrings are after back surgery years ago? I think I'd ache forever if I had to wear flat shoes.

"You don't really expect this surgery to be the cure-all if you're not going to at least try to help the situation, do you?"

Well, you don't really expect me to dress like a grandma just to please you, do you? Who's your biggest competitor in town, anyway? I'm finding someone else who will support me in my lifestyle instead of listening to someone talk down to me and not even consider a discussion about finding a solution to fit MY life.

And off I went. And after work this afternoon, I promptly came home and plunked my new orthotics into some lovely slip-on loafers to break them in for the first hour - I even set the timer. See, I AM a good patient who listens, but only when the talk isn't nonsense. Flat tennies, my foot.

Spooning Rainbows

As I drove into my peaceful neighborhood after a lovely dinner with a woman whose children I used to babysit all those years ago, I was mesmerized by the double rainbows taking up nearly half the skyline. They were vibrant, fresh, and awe-inspiring.

For some reason, I couldn't help but think of them as being like DH and me. In a mushy, reflective mood, I drew the parallels - the brighter, stronger rainbow stretched across the sky, full of life and energy. The more subtle, soft outer rainbow cozily tucked around that bold one, not smothering, just comfortably near. So different, yet so complementary.

The pictures don't do them justice, but then, never do the ones of DH and me together.

Yo God...

From the voice of my oldest three-year-old in bed tonight, about 10 minutes after we prayed and tucked into bed:

"Yo, God. Pix my broken toesies now and make 'em nice and shiny again. Got it?"

Where do the checks go?

It's been a year where I've written out more checks to medical providers than anyone else, including our daycare lady, who I pay each Friday. Not a good sign.

Between dental disasters with the twins and a new crown and upcoming filling for myself, new contacts (more than twice as expensive as those I used to wear), meeting the $1000 deductible for each of us, a lump on my uterus that magically disappeared the day after an ultrasound, exploration of naturopathic care and chiropractic for Bell's Palsy, the upcoming visit to a podiatrist (tomorrow - to see about fixing these damn bunions) and an upcoming trip to an ENT to talk about fixing my Bell's Palsy symptoms, I feel broke. And sick of running.

Last month, I honestly wrote out more in medical/dental bills than either of my paychecks brought in. What do people without savings accounts do? Is that why so many people have rotting teeth? Maybe I just need to find a few more hours in my weeks to pick up some more freelancing. Or not. (I do wish I could squeeze in a little more writing - not for the money so much, but the relaxation. Oxymoron of the month: it's too stressful to try to fit in time to do something relaxing and rewarding.)

I realize that none of these issues is earth shattering. Nothing is critical or unbearable or deadly. For that, I am truly grateful. But man, they are expensive when you add them all together. I'm hoping for a good visit tomorrow and some quick results to get back to feeling somewhat normal again. Someday...

The buzzing in my brain

If you know me at all, you know there is no 'turning it off' time for me. I don't have a TV in my house and I don't read fiction. If my kids are asleep and my husband is working (every week night), I'm thinking about work and ways to improve how it all comes together.

A main priority of my office (the communications office) is to redo our website. The current one is more than a decade old and hasn't been improved upon since the initial build. Needless to say, it's horrible. Everyone I know is convinced that we just need to start from scratch and build a new one from the ground up - and do it right with the ability to adjust it as user needs change.

Unfortunately, the team of 12 who hired me have no idea what our needs are, in terms of skills, technology, personnel, etc. I recognized that the entire group is near retirement age, so when I interviewed, I purposely understated my capabilities (I secretly was hoping to not get the job offer because it would be such a huge change, plus I knew that if I did the job, it would be way more rewarding to exceed expectations rather than the opposite). I bluntly said that I do not have graphic design skills, nor do I have website design skills. I have an eye for design and a head to comprehend the big picture and getting the right message to the right audience. And I have a great understanding of the importance of web content, ease of use, and so on when it comes to a website. And I can write web copy well, which is a totally different writing style than ads or brochures.

Shoot, what these folks need is a cross-platform IT person who is also a graphic designer and a PR specialist and a public spokesperson and a writer and a marketing manager and a videographer and about a million other specialties. When they told me about the robust staff who handles all of the graphic design and web design, I was relieved. I could handle the rest.

Little did I know that I was inheriting a "graphic designer" who had community college training back in the day when folks literally cut up pictures and taped them onto paper and made copies in order to make an ad. And that the website guy has a master's in theology and just happens to tinker on computers at home after hours, but has no formal IT training. Plus, he doesn't even work in the communications office - so any time he gives is borrowed from his office. He's an awesome smart guy, but our structure makes the whole thing screwy. The "designer" has since quit during our hiring freeze, so now it's all me.

I am bucking the idea of having to learn how to code a website. In a big way. Ick. Icky pukey ick. And I'm against using some lame template system that doesn't allow for the classy artistic design we've been establishing as our brand. As I'm trying to figure out where to go with all of this, I've been enlightened by a few people who are way smarter than me in this area, and now my mind is swimming. I'm going to do my darnedest these next couple days to simply ignore the whole issue. It really is overwhelming and tiring and daunting. So on to focusing on very unrelated things. Like accounting work. And press releases. And networking/schmoozing opportunities. And a manicure. And making sure I have fresh creamer for coffee in the morning.

Boy oh boy.

June 12th - the most emotional day of my year

My darling daughters, who turned three a full 6 weeks ago, were due to celebrate their birthday today. And each year since their birth, their due date has brought on an onslaught of tears and hugs and an overwhelming ache of relief.

Six weeks early. Who ever knows what prematurity is until you visit a baby in the NICU who is too fragile to even stroke, much less hold. Just remembering the intense fear of having to bury our babies, whose odds were less than shitty, my heart is pounding and it hurts to breathe.

I had a really tough time playing the mean mom role tonight. With DH working nights and me being a single mom each evening, bedtime is certainly not fun for any of us. The girls, Breanna especially, really pushes - often not staying in bed for good until 11 or later. (Thankfully Grant is the most wonderful little guy in the universe - he likes to cuddle for about 1 minute, give a kiss goodnight, and then nuzzle into his blanket and go to sleep.) With the twins, though, it's a constant, draining battle, both physically and emotionally. Like most nights, tonight I just wanted to rock these miracle babies without having to worry about the consequences of overtired kids tomorrow. Unlike most nights, however, I let my emotion dictate the decision to rock the girls to sleep late into the night.

As I smelled their soft, clean hair and stroked their smooth little hands, I couldn't hold back the tears of gratitude. Thank God for letting these children live. And live so well! They overcame every obstacle the doctors told us to expect and really, they are perfect little beings.

June 12 will never be the same.

A week in the life...

I woke up late on Sunday morning to the smell of bacon. Not only had my extremely wonderful husband let me take a turn sleeping in, but he also got up with the kids and made a real breakfast. And then delivered a plate to me in bed. Honestly, could there be any sweeter gesture?

Listening to the chaos out in the kitchen, I felt guilty, so I picked up my plate and joined the rest of the crew in the kitchen. Grant was wearing no pants. Neither was Lillian. And Breanna had on her jammies upside down with two different colors of socks. Gotta love it.

With DH working evenings M-F, our time together as the whole family is pretty limited, which is why we really treasure our weekends. It's also the only break I get from our three little darlings, so I often find an errand I need to run - even if it's just to the grocery store - alone. Or the hardware store. Or anywhere.

Last week was really exhausting, but I had a very brave week, and I'm still questioning why I felt such a desire to get out. Luckily, our out-of-home adventures all turned out ok. No one was abducted or injured, so I guess you could say we had some successes.

On Tuesday night, I took the kids to my office, where the production crew was filming TV Mass. I've hired a wonderful young man to take over that aspect of my office, and it was his going to be his first night without me being there for the whole thing. The kids were curious and cute and having a ball looking for God in the chapel as I made sure everyone was comfortable and ready for me to depart. The girls also searched for God up the stairs. And in the closet. And at the candy machine, where my dear colleague rejoiced in teaching them how fun it is to get Skittles from the machine and eat them all at once. They were hilarious little jumping beans for hours afterwards. From there, we came home and our sweet next door neighbor, who is a beautician, made a house call and cut the girls' shaggy mops. Luckily, she was able to bounce with them on their sugar highs and the bobbed haircuts turned out really cute.

The school where the twins will be attending preschool had it's spring picnic Wednesday evening, so I packed up all three and off we went. I was shocked to see 300-400 people. Sheer madness! But the kids had fun and I just accepted that I couldn't see all three at all times. Thankfully Grant wanted to be held a lot, so I only had to keep an eye on the twins. But what a heavy 25-pounder to lug around all evening. My blood pressure was probably very near stroke stage, but we made it and the kids had a BALL! They even got to jump in an inflatable jumphouse and eat cotton candy and go potty in little toilets for little kids in the little school. (Lillian blurts the last sentence to anyone who asks about school. More like squeals it out. Loudly. And then has to take a really big breath.)

Thursday night was catch-up night and bath night, and then Friday we went to a surprise 50th birthday party for a friend of ours from the TEC (Together Encountering Christ) retreat program. It was out in the middle of a bunch of gravel roads, complete with beanbag-tossing folks who rode 4-wheelers and drank beers and the works of true country living. Again, as a single parent that night, I was a little panicky, but it went well. Our dear friends stepped up and helped me to relax and enjoy a bit before I packed the kids up and headed home. We made it home just as it was getting dark, so everyone conked out right after we brushed our teeth. That NEVER happens that easily, so I was delighted.

This week, we're staying home so I can recuperate.

Status Quo

No one will ever accuse us of overbooking ourselves nor living exotically. Our basic routine is pretty darn comfortable, and though often challenging just based on the logistics of having three little ones always underfoot, it's still nice enough.

We've unofficially boycotted a summer of racing all over the place, trying to squeeze in time with various family members at various lakes, constantly packing and unpacking. It's taken us a few years, but we're finally getting wiser, although certainly not more popular.

This isn't to say we sit home and repeat our days, but in the big frame, we're pretty predictable. We still do a trip to Grandma and Papa's here and there and are bound to make an appearance at my folks' cabin once or twice, but we're doing way more weekends at home than away. The kids are happy. We're happy. We're tired. But not extra tired due to the packing and unpacking. Hooray!

This weekend, we're staying home

Who's Clever?

Who's clever? Not the parents in our house, that's for sure. We thought so, but our oldest daughter, at the ripe old age of just-turned-3, showed us we're so out of our league.

On Sunday night, we the perfect plan. Or so we thought.

The neighbors down on the end of our cul-de-sac were having the first bonfire of the summer and all the neighborhood was going. Since we have the three youngest out of the 16 total kids, we decided we'd be the lone parents and get our kids to sleep before heading to the party, just three houses down. The fire started at 7, and by 8, our house was quiet and peaceful.

DH and I each grabbed an ice cold beer and sat out on our front porch, visiting, basking in the serenity as we watched the sun drop lower in the sky. At about 8:30, we checked once again and all was quiet. I cleverly called DH's cell phone from mine (unlimited mobile-to-mobile, after all). I left my cell phone on top of the hamper in between the girls' rooms, which are right next to each other. DH then set his phone on speaker and we skipped off to the neighbors, ready for another beer and some s'mores. (And Jiffy Pop.)

At a little after 10, I decided I'd check on the kids, even though the phone was nice and quiet. Plus, I had to tinkle, so it was time to head home for a little bit. As I walked up, I realized the lights were on in our house. I could see a small child's silouette in our entryway, sitting on the floor. When I opened the door, Breanna looked up and calmly said, "Hi, Mommy."

I asked what she was doing and she replied, "Just playing with some shoes." With a little prompting, she told me she'd woken up from her nap and was playing Hide and Seek with me. She asked where I was, so I told her I'd been outside. She said, "Oh, fixing Daddy's lawn and pulling his weeds?" Sure. Not filling up on s'mores and popcorn, but working on the yard in the dark. I asked if she could see how dark it was outside and she simply replied, "Yep. I better go to bed then." And off she went, all by herself. Within about 38 seconds, she was snoring softly.

Once she was out of sight, I nearly fell down laughing silently with full force. As I began shutting off the lights (she'd turned on every single one in the whole house - even in Lillian and Grant's room - they were sound asleep, thankfully), I remembered the cell phone. Our very clever daughter had pushed the mute button. Her "clever" mom hadn't even realized it had mute functionality until that night.

If she can outsmart us at age 3, I can only imagine what the high school years will bring.

I get to go home

I get to go home this weekend and I'm practically doing cartwheels in my jammies as I think about it. Due to our daycare lady's vacation, we've been working some creative childcare hours to accommodate DH's and my differing work schedules this week. Last night I brought my kiddos to my folks' so they could enjoy Gramma Pamma's day off with her today. And then I left, gloriously driving a car - as in - low-to-the-ground carseat-less freedom - all the way to the mall and then shopped my little heart out for a tiny bit before grabbing a Starbucks and hitting the road home.

For the record, I snatched up the steal of the year. It is a bulky, wool, beautiful cable-knit red turtleneck sweater. At Christmas time, I ogled and drooled, but the $178 price tag was just too much for my level head to wrap itself around. Last night, I discovered a pile of these very same sweaters on a wonderful rack at Herberger's - all priced at $2.99. Not two hundred ninety-nine. Read it and weap: under three bucks. Woo hoo! Patience finally has paid off!

I gleefully drove home, talking on the phone to a dear friend the whole time, and then enjoyed putting the kids' laundry away with the lights on and not having to be so incredibly silent when opening and closing drawers. And then I went to bed with all the doors open. What a liberating night!

Now this morning, with a cup of coffee in hand and a full 45 minutes to myself with no kidlets under foot, I can enjoy a blog posting and the start to the day in which I get to go home. Right after work tonight, I'm going to head up there for the weekend. A dear friend is going to join us for pizza tonight, then tomorrow, I'm going to help my dad build a fence. That means that my wonderful DH will be home alone all weekend, able to work on our basement with no interruptions. Hooray for all of us! Happy weekend, everyone!

Middle Jesus and God Who Already Went to Bed

Absentmindely, I forgot my cell phone at the office yesterday. I didn't realize it until after I unloaded the kids at our house after daycare. Darn! So after supper, they had baths and the kids all got into jammies, then we piled into the minivan and went to Mommy's Work. It was their first time seeing where I spend my days.

As we walked into the Pastoral Center, the girls saw the open doors to the chapel where we film TV Mass, the sun welcoming them through the windows, so they raced in. "Look, you have a church in your work," exclaimed Breanna. They explored all over the place, overflowing with questions. Lillian spotted the crucifix up above and said, "Look, Jesus is here." Breanna told her that that was not Baby Jesus. Lillian said he's Big Jesus. They argued about it a little bit, and since that particular Jesus is about as tall as the twins, they determined he's "Middle Jesus."

A few moments later, Breanna asked, "Where's God?" I replied that he's right here with us. "Where?" she asked. I told her he's with us everywhere we go. She said she didn't see him. I asked if she could feel him. Lillian put her hands out in the air, trying to "feel" him. Then Breanna spotted the door to the sacristy and explained that God was back there. She asked to go see him, so, knowing the door was locked, I encouraged her to go see if he was there. She tried it, found it locked, and proclaimed in a loud whisper, "He already went to bed. We have to be very quiet and not wake him up." And off the girls went, exiting the chapel.

Baffled by all this, I wondered when and how they made the connection between God and church. It was then that I realized I haven't been the best mom at church - I haven't been explaining what we do or why we do it - I simply expect my kids to sit angelicly and take it all in. With all the wiggling and playing and teasing that occurs in our pew, I am absolutely shocked and delighted that they are able to put it together, with no help from me, mind you. How fast they're growing up!

As our birthday season wraps up

What a wild rush of birthday fever!

Earlier in the week, the daddy of our house turned 29, so we surprised him with a lunchtime visit. We grilled and then ate out on the new kiddo picnic table and sang him happy birthday over his favorite cake, which the girls helped make. We gave him some gifts, which the kids unwrapped for him, and wished him a wonderful day before heading back to daycare and work. He seemed to really enjoy the time.

On Friday, one of my cherished colleagues (who has lots of grandsons but not a single girl) gave me her fancy teapot and dish for holding the teabags, just in time for our tea party birthday party for the twins this weekend. As I set the table with her pretty pot, I realized I was a dope in not thinking about inviting her to join us. She lives out of town, but what if she was looking for something fun to do, especially since it's so icky out outside. Someday, I hope to be graced with more grace and thoughtfulness at the right times, instead of always being after the fact.

We did have a fantastic tea party for the girls, with nine little girls and a grandma and two aunties and three neighbor moms and myself all present and pretty. We had grownup treats (cream puffs, petit fours, piroulenes, mini eggrolls, and meat/cheese skewers) and licorice tea and orange spice tea in fancy teapots, complete with real cups and saucers for every girl. Each cup came with a pretty necklace to keep and a goodie basket, too. Our neighborhood gang is just wonderful - even the older ones play well with the little pumpkins.

We played hot teacup with purses (like the hot potato game) and visited and had a truly lovely day. After church today, the girls asked if they could have a tea party again since it's so darn cold outside, so we had more tea in the real cups and saucers, complete with cream, sugar cube, and a piroulene on the side. Easy to please!

Now that birthday fever is done in our house for a while, I look forward to finding a slowdown. Although, I suspect it will likely not happen until we become empty nesters. Is it terrible that I'm thinking about empty nesting already? Gosh these kids tucker me out.

And the Terribles are Gone

Now that the girls are officially three, I hope this means we're officially out of the terrible twos. I've heard that the reality of twins is that it's more like the terrible threes. We'll see. So far, so good. Mind you, it's only been three days.

It was a mushy gushy kind of weekend for me. More so than the girls' first and second birthdays. I just kept thinking about their odds of survival - less than 5% we'd even have one make it. That's a really horrible statistic. And to think they've come out completely healthy and beautiful and curious and creative and perfect, it really is overwhelming.

I've used the example of the miracle of their survival with lots of friends and family lately, as they've been dealing with some scary health issues. What a beautiful example of how anything really is possible with the power of prayer. You just never know what God has in store.

The girls had a wonderful birthday - we went to church, which is one of their favorite activities - they're both so very social. Actually, we all really enjoy it. Grant made the lady in front of us swoon with all of his eyelash batting and giggling. After church, we came home for a nice lunch and a surprise visit (at least a surprise to the kiddos) from my folks. They brought a kid-sized picnic table, complete with a red and white umbrella, which the kids all love. We spent the evening out in the yard with half the neighborhood, marveling at what a wonderful neighborhood we have, how great the kids all play together, how fun it is to see our three goslings come up on shore, and how very blessed we all. The kids tumbled and danced and ran their little hearts out. What a joy-filled day for all of us.

The fun will be extending - we're having an official tea party for the girls this Saturday and inviting the neighbor girls and their moms. I'm not sure yet how many are coming, but I'm certain we'll all have fun. That means I still have lots to do before then, so it's time to sign off. Here's to a great rest of the week to us all!

Doubt

We rented a movie over the weekend and watched in on a laptop in bed. Still with no TVs in the house and happy with that decision, we do love our laptops.

We watched "Doubt," which is a film about suspicion about a priest within the Catholic Church that takes place around the Vatican II changes. Interesting flick - I think perhaps the first one where I actually enjoyed Meryl Streep.

After we closed the laptop, I had a hard time falling asleep. Perhaps too much coffee on a cold and rainy Sunday. Perhaps too much to do in the weeks ahead and way too little time to get it all done. Perhaps a movie that got the wheels turning. Regardless, I got to thinking about my own doubt. Or to state it more accurately - my lack of it. Remarkably, I don't second guess much. Curiosity - yes, plenty to go around. But true doubt? Eh, not so much of that. I can honestly say that yes, I know God will provide. How much and how rewarding to me at the time is up for debate, but I take great comfort in knowing that he will always provide enough.

When I decided to go to the client side this past year - nonprofit - church at that! - I just had a feeling of peace and faith that it would be ok. Much like I felt when I realized I'd fallen in love. Much like when we found out twins! I wonder if it doesn't somehow go back to my rationality and system of logic in my daily life. No matter what, I will always have a roof over my head and food in my belly. If ever a situation led to such dire straights that the house wouldn't be my own, there are enough good people in this world who would lend a hand.

Even amidst the calamities of evil-doers you hear about in the news, I believe in the greater good of humanity. It feels good to be good, and the majority of us truly want to be good and do good. Sure, everyone gets caught up in the not-so-nice from time to time, but in the big picture, we want to be kind. And for that kind of certainty, I am thankful.

My Brilliant Business Idea

No one has ever accused me of being original or unique, but that's ok. Here in our new town, there are only two coffee shops with drivethrus. McDonalds doesn't count. I'm talking real, yummy coffee, as in Starbucks/Caribou. There are two main problems: 1. There are only 2 drivethrus for the community population of nearly 200,000. 2. They are located in the crappiest places where the traffic is ALWAYS congested...places I avoid at all costs because it's such a waste of time.

I'm trying to convince my darling of a husband to consider opening up some coffee huts, like the Northstar or Mountain Mudd fame in Fargo. I don't know how much profit they post, but it must have been something or they wouldn't have stayed in business all these years. He could build little fishhouse hut himself and invest in a couple of good espresso machines and some beans and hit the ground running.

Anyone know anything about this? Can you imagine living in a community with no drivethrus? I'm dying to toss my money at baristas, but darn, they're so inconvenient around here that I often have my first cup at work instead of on the way to work - and the office stuff is icky bitter Folgers. What do you think? Am I just insane? I welcome all feedback on this topic.

Who I'm praying for today

I always keep a running list of people I'm praying for. The list grows, because I never feel like I should stop praying for someone once I've started - I mean really, who is more worthy than others?

In looking at my list in my little notepad, today I've topped more than 500 people who I pray for each day by name. Some of them, I've never even met. Some never even lived outside a womb. Some are in a worse place than when I first started praying for them and many others are much better.

Over the weekend, I spent two full days with some of the dearest women in my life - a handful of the Mothers of Multiples from the Fargo area. I learned that the fairness in fertility blessings is all out of whack and that I need to open my heart much more to those who face conception hardships. It can run a lot deeper than simply having to invest in some expensive medical help. I've added a few to my list, for whom I'm praying for peace.

I've begun saying a "freestyle" bedtime prayer with our twins before bed, starting with, "Dear God, thank you for this beautiful day. We ask for your special blessings upon..." The girls LOVE it and we often cover some of the people already on my list. I've said the "Now I lay me" prayer, but now they ask for the God prayer right afterward.

Today, we prayed twice for my Auntie Boonie, who had surgery to eliminate her breast cancer today. We prayed for her doctors, as well as her husband and sons. When we listed Alec and Jake, Breanna hopped off my lap and ran to the refrigerator, yanked off pictures of the boys and brought them back to us. Without prompting, she held them to her heart and of course, tears dripped off my eyes, right onto Lillian's head.

They get it. They're so little and still can't sleep through the night without wetting the bed, and yet their pure and tiny hearts are so capable and willing to love and to pray. I really couldn't be more blessed. Isn't this truly what it's all about?

I invite you to please join us in praying for my family. We've been bombarded with cancer this winter and it's cruel stuff. I also encourage you to start a list. I hope you are filled with as much peace as I am when I walk through my list each night.

It's in the air

We all have a little spring fever these days, although for the twins, it began long before it was above freezing outside. I have learned I need to hide their "twimming tuits" if I don't want them to come home from daycare every day and quick toss on their suits before I even get my shoes and coat off. They wear them every chance they get. In fact, they've mentioned swimming in our pond now that the ice is out, but thankfully, we have them convinced that the pond is only a bathtub for the animals and that they'd chase us out and bite our butts if we tried to go swimming there. Thankfully, they believe us.

The kids and I took the wagon to our neighborhood park this afternoon and had the most relaxing visit there. What a joy to be outside again!

As the twins approach three

These girls of ours are growing to be more and more different each day. Their voices. Their hair fullness. Their tastebuds. Their approach to eating. Their preference in colors. Their styles of shoes. Their linguistics.

Breanna is the bolder of the two when it comes to people, and it appears Grant is following in those footsteps. She's friendly and truly pleased to meet new people. Solid and determined, she's very confident. She likes bold prints and bright colors and fistfuls of food. When she talks, which is nonstop, she describes with lots of adjectives, including her senses and memories. She demands answers instead of asking questions. She boldly takes anything that interests her, often pulling it apart as quickly as possible and putting it into her mouth. She's the last one to bed and the first one up with the biggest smile and loves to share coffee with anyone who offers. She writes in big loops and long lines, always picking the brightest colors she can find. She cannot make it through a book without trying to grab it away, but loves to help read along with the ones she's read before. Always making noise; if she's not gabbing, she's singing fast, zippy little tunes.

Lillian, on the other hand, is a softer being. She prefers clean white clothes, dainty little shoes, eating one pea at a time after she's lined them up in a row and counted them. She doesn't talk much unless Breanna's away, and when the floodgates open, look out. She bubbles out questions nonstop. Her memory is impeccible, especially when it comes to how people feel about things, "That makes Auntie Lissy so happy when I rock with her at Auntie Lissy's house" after having not been there for months and months. Quick to fall asleep and very slow to wake up, she quietly whines and whimpers when she's tired. When Breanna swipes a toy or snack from her, Lillian finds a grownup and pleas for them to get it back. She won't fight back no matter how many times we tell her to. She loves to build tall towers with blocks and boxes, and then send them crashing down once they hit their peak. When she writes, she makes polka dots, yellow and pink and other soft colors. She cuddles and rocks and loves to be sung to (her favorite is Rockabye Baby), perhaps more than she loves to read - off by herself. She likes to read a book at least twice in a row, often more. Such an intense student in every area of life, it's almost like she's memorizing every detail around her.

Strangers often ask how we can tell them apart. I respond, "How could we not?" They are still so tiring, but so wonderful. Their wonderful differences just make each one that much more lovable. I just thank God every day for giving us an easy son after these two little turkeys. The hopping continues.