Finally at Terms

Not sure if you've noticed or not, but the dogs have not been mentioned in my posts in quite a while. That's because they haven't been in my daily life for the last few months. One evening this past spring, I noticed that I was having to remind myself to pet the dogs right before bed. As the last step of my tiring days, I had to remind myself. What kind of rotten dog owner had I become? One who puts her kids ahead of all else, and the dogs pretty close to last, apparently.

After some very serious, realistic thought, I decided to give Maddy and Tootsie away. I'd tried to keep them in the family, but no one was ready to take on two 7-year-old shih tzus. So one Sunday, I ran an ad in the paper, looking for a retired couple to adopt them. Several people called, and the ones who are the new owners are certifiably "dog people." For the first month, the new mom called once a week with an update, and to point out the dogs' personality quirks. It's obvious that the girls are in the right spot with the right family. They don't travel or believe in kenneling, and the woman is home all day with them. She takes them on a short walk each afternoon, and they spend a lot of time hanging out on the deck overlooking their hobby farm. For the dogs, life is grand.

For me, it was hands down the hardest thing I've ever done. Even tougher than filing for divorce all those years ago or facing back surgery as a teen. For the first week, I cried at least once a day. After the first night of not having them, DH (who'd always claimed that he hated dogs) suggested that he call the couple and tell them that we wanted the dogs back. Because he missed them. How cruel would that be after they'd taken the dogs into their home and created a new life around them?

I still haven't gone to see the dogs. Maybe later this month, after we're moved into the new place. With selling the house and moving into the condo, we'd have had to do something anyway. But at least I had time to think it through and find the best option for them.

It is getting easier - very slowly - to adjust to their absence. But knowing that Maddy and Tootsie are in the right place for them makes it ok. It feels good to be able to finally write about it.