Prayers Paid Off

If you haven't followed the story of the Medders family in Fargo, here's a recap. Kelly Medders became pregnant with naturally occurring identical quadruplets. Extremely rare! And full of risks. After numerous complications (including TTTS, which also almost took our girls), the family ended up with one surviving quad.

She finally made it home - 7 months after her very early arrival into the world.

I never met the Medders, but feel so very close to them at heart. I have prayed for them every day since first hearing about their story. When I read their blog tonight and learned the great news, tears streamed down my cheeks. God is so good.

I've tagged myself

The rules:
“The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

1. What was I doing ten years ago?
I had just graduated with my English and Mass Communcations degrees and was already working at my first ad agency as a copywriter. I was working with a guy I nick-named The Gay Weasel, who I later became very good friends with. I had just purchased myself my first car with leather seats and was looking forward to lots of weekends at the lake. I also had just bought an adorable red bikini. Aah, the skinny mini days.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
-Bake Amish Friendship Bread.
-Finish writing thank-you cards for baby gifts.
-Wrap baby shower gifts for my sissy.
-Edit a chapter of a software user guide.
-Pray for my sister-in-law who had emergency back surgery today.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Yummy, yummy candy. Anything with sugar, for that matter. Fresh strips of red and yellow peppers. Sugar snap peas. Popcorn. Tapioca pudding. And fresh fruit. Lots of fresh fruit.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
I would spend more time hanging out with my kids (because we'd have a house big enough to have a play room where nothing's off limits). I'd also rock abandoned babies at the NICU at least once a week to keep me in check. I'd find someone to take away my Bell's Palsy (or at least make my smile even again). And I would get a back rub.

5. Places I have lived: (I'm so wildly midwestern.)
-Edina, MN
-Eveleth, MN
-Little Falls, MN
-Sioux City, IA
-Fargo, ND
-Brainerd, MN
-Baxter, MN
-Moorhead, MN
-Fargo, ND

6. People I want to know more about:
I’m passing this on to: Prego Jodie, my long-lost friend Lettuce, Overcaffienated Katie, art-directing Andrea, Mama Maus, Ms. Huckins Punkins

Is it just me?

Is this the fastest spring ever? I just took winter hats and scarves out of the van to wash and put away, but it seems like we were just using them. Life continues to fly by and I'm still behind as ever.

Usually, if I put my plans in writing - and especially if I let others know about those plans - I force myself to live up to the precedent that I've set. Not so lately. I still haven't finished up with baby announcements (and thank you notes) and I still haven't dug out my skinny clothes. It seems like just when we're about to have a stretch of normalcy, something new comes up and the race continues. But I am getting to bed a little earlier - 12:30 or so - so at least I'm catching a few more zzzs.

We enjoyed the long weekend at the lake. My dad, uncle and husband worked on the porch addition on the cabin, and somehow, the girls learned to clap and shout "Hooray" each time someone made a cut on the saw. Talk about incentive to keep working! Lillian realized she's more than capable of climbing out of the pack and play. Both girls learned to say "Jeanne" and "Boonie Rocks" in reference to their great aunts. And of course, I didn't take the time to pull out the camera, so I have nothing new to share.

DH and I did squeeze in a date - dinner at Billy's Bar in Vergas. I had the best taco salad ever - it was huge and fresh and the chicken was perfect! Add in a neighborhood bocce ball game later in the weekend and we called it good. (Although I did pick up a dead mouse with my bare hand, thinking it was a leaf on Monday. Ick. I guess it's time to get in to the eye doctor again.)

Now here we are, back to the grind. We have out-of-town company coming on Thursday night to stay over to break up their trip to Rapid City. (Yay - they're one of our favorite couples ever!)Then Friday my folks are coming up and Saturday is my sister's baby shower. I have no articles in the hopper right now, though, so hopefully my snippets of freetime can be spent putting away clean laundry, getting out baby announcements, and finding clothes that fit. Let's see if my putting it in writing trick works this week.

Kinko Kinko

Breanna and Lillian surprised us this week with their rendition of Kinko Kinko Itto Tar. They made it through the whole thing, mostly in tune. They both sing, "How I wonder what you are" perfectly clearly. What fun!

And Grant surprised us this week by pulling himself up using his torso muscles so that he sits upright in the tilted swing. He now tries to pull himself out of the carseat, too. Uh oh. I hope this isn't a sign of gruelling road trips this summer.

The kids and I are leaving bright and early tomorrow morning (by 7:30). We're driving 2.5 hours to my parents' house to drop of the kiddos and then I'm heading to Saint Cloud for a 1:00 meeting. Hopefully the meeting will be fruitful and I'll be rewarded with some great projects.

Then on Friday, we're heading up to my family's cabin for the weekend. I'm looking forward to spending some time with my mom's side. It's been a while. And I'm certain the girls will love the freedom that comes with having a yard. (And all the attention.)

After I got the van all loaded (all 10,000 trips or so), I checked the oil tonight. First time I've done that in years. I've loved my Toyotas in recent years, and knew I never needed to worry about oil or anything else for that matter. Well, now that I'm driving domestic, I figure I'd better keep an eye on things a bit closer.

DH is going to work in town this week and then join us at the lake on Friday. He's doing a remodeling project on a nearby lake next week, so it's going to be convenient for him to get some alone time when the crowded cabin starts to feel to crowded. We're going to cram 10-13 grownups, 2 adolescents, 2-3 toddlers, 1 infant, and 1 fetus into the two cabins, which have a total of 5 bedrooms. Should be interesting. I just pray for no rain.

Enjoy the long weekend, folks!

Returning

We're finally returning to "normal." While each day is a bit different and we're always in the middle of stuff, we're kind of getting back to normal in that we're going to bed before 1 a.m.

DH has even been home in time for supper as a family this week, which we've all enjoyed! Last night, the G Man slept from 10 pm until 6 am, so hooray for that! I didn't get to bed until just after midnight, though, so I guess it wasn't that big of a stretch of sleep for me. Oh well.

We've been getting outside again (thank God for fresh air). The girls have especially enjoyed our neighborhood walks to see all the puppies (dogs, cats, squirrels, chipmunks, birds, and bunnies). Grant has seemed to enjoy hanging out in his Moby wrap as we walk along. When trekked through an alley on Wednesday, Breanna kicked up some dust and said "Fuzzy."

As the girls continue to develop, their sentences are getting longer, and several in a row now. It's so fun to be able to understand them finally! And Master Grant, well, he's just the smiliest baby I've ever known. Returning to normal equates to returning to great.

Pony Party

We celebrated the twins' second birthdays over the weekend with a double-twin party in Wild West Fargo.

When I looked outside Saturday morning and saw snow falling, all I could do was groan. Between the two families, a few friends, and a handful of pals that we have in common, this could end up being up to 60 people in one house. Luckily, the ponies were happy to be in the garage, and the kiddos took turns taking rides nicely. I hear that there was a kiddy tub with blankets and bunnies, too, but I didn't get a chance to peek in. The snow did not deter anyone and the place was full. Whew!

Of course, I was so busy running around as co-hostess and mom to a newborn that I didn't get a single picture. I know my mom and sis and brother-in-law all took photos, so eventually, we're bound to get at least one to post here.

I feel bad that I didn't get the chance to visit with the hostess' husband or really even introduce our kiddos much. The chaos was a blur - a very nice blur, though. I'm glad we did it, but I hope the girls don't come to expect this massive of a party again. At least until they graduate.

Graduation Day

With great pride, I'd like to brag a little bit about my dad. He's graduating with his second Master's degree tonight. Though I can't be there in person to see him and hug him, I can beam from afar. He's put in a lot of long hours to earn this degree.

Since he started his second career in high school special education (emotional behavioral disorders) after a full retirement from the US Army, he's thrown himself head-first into the field. He has more passion for his work than most people ever dream of. Earning this degree has been all about figuring out how to help his students better. Just ask him one question and he'll go for hours. He lives and breathes it.

Dad's a true advocate for his kids. They've been tossed out of the regular school system and are often on the verge of pure trouble. A lot of them come from royally screwed-up poverty-stricken families who don't have much chance of doing anything productive with their lives. But my Dad sees potential in each one and he works his tail off to help them figure out a way to make at least something of themselves. While most of them likely won't make it to law school or even a tech school, they at least get some understanding of the EBD problems they have and how to work with them.

A few years ago, Dad had a student whose family was so poor they couldn't afford hair cuts and the poor kid kept getting teased about his shagginess. My dad discreetly offered to cut the kid's hair before school. He brought in clippers from home and became a makeshift barber. And when another kid obsessively licked his lips raw, Dad became a big-time chapstick supplier. My generous mom has played a big role in helping Dad pull it all off. Their compassion is amazing - and inspiring.

If you come across an opportunity to help someone, even a stranger, even in a small way, go for it. This world needs a lot more generosity of the spirit. I know that when I find ways to help, I do it in honor of my parents, whose generosity is pure.

If you happen to know my dad and get a chance to congratulate him on this recent accomplishment, please do so. He certainly deserves great big accolades. Hooray for graduation day!

How adorable is he?

G Man, as his daddy calls him. What a cutie!

Birthdays Galore

Our girls turned two on Saturday, but we didn't acknowledge it on the day (we're saving the celebration till the pony party this weekend). My dear old friend, KariAnn, brought over her almost 8-year-old for an afternoon of visiting and enjoying some fresh air.

Along with sweet baby gifts for Grant, she also brought pretties for the girls. Lilli LOVES wearing the headbands. And Breanna LOVES sucking on the barrettes.

Every day, I put something in each of their hair to try to get them used to cute hairdos. But they still rip the pretties out of each other's hair within minutes. One of these days, they're going to realize that it hurts and that they can keep the pretties in if they just leave them in.

The girls had a birthday party at daycare today, where Grandma Becky celebrated with princess and unicorn balloons, homemade cupcakes, and little gifts from her grandkids. Now the girls have more cell phones and some coloring stuff and My Little Ponies. And they love all of it.

We had a birthday party at our place tonight. Young DH turned 28. Though he was tired out and not excited about aging, he did enjoy the T-bone dinner and cheesecake. We taught the girls how to blow out candles, and repeated it a few times til they got the hang of it. By the time we get to the twin party this weekend, we'll have it down pat.

A pair of years

We have a pair of two-year-olds in the house! Holy moly! Sometimes, it feels like it's been 10 years and other times, they seem so very little. I think the terrible twos began in the middle of the night when the girls took turns waking up every other hour. Those darn bottom molars are rough. And the day was trying, as well. I considered for a moment not even baking their birthday cake. Luckily, they are sweet and cute as ever just as soon as I'm near the end of my rope, and then we all kiss and hug and cuddle and my blood pressure goes back down. Thankfully, my long-time friend, KariAnn brought her son over to break up our day a little bit. We all went for an afternoon walk, which did us a ton of good.

The Parade of Homes ended today at 5:00 and I'm delighted to have my husband back. He even joined us for supper tonight. A big fancy feast of pizza, pears, and Funfetti cake. We had a wonderful turnout at the house this past week - to those of you who came to visit - thank you sincerely. It made DH's many hours there fly by and he enjoyed hearing accolades about his work. This project has resulted in a ton of work, and likely much more to come. When he said he wanted to grow the company, I hope he was serious, because here we go.

By the end of this week, I hope to feel a bit more caught up with my life. This week, I WILL get to Grant's birth announcements, as well as thank you notes. And I will do my filing. And I will go down to the garage and find my boxes of skinny clothes. DH thought he was being mighty funny when he recently half-de-pantsed my transition trousers in front of the kiddos. Now Breanna tries to yank my pants down. Nice.

I was brave this afternoon (and extremely sick of being cooped up), so I took all three kiddos to a park all by myself. One split lip and one bruised elbow were well worth all the fun the girls had climbing steps and sliding down the slide. I started to get a little concerned when it was time to leave, and I couldn't round up both girls to walk back with me. They just couldn't understand that we needed to leave the slide. As soon as I'd get one to sit on the ground next to Grant's baby carrier, the other would start running back to the slide. And the cycle continued for more than 10 minutes. Eventually, a mom who was there with her one four-year-old who minded came to my rescue and helped me corral the kiddos back to the van.

And then we had some true family time before the girls went to bed tonight and it was absolutely lovely. Nothing fancy, but we all smiled a lot. We turned off the big light and instead lit the lamp in their room. And then we lounged on the floor. The girls climbed all over us, tickled, showed us their pretties (new headbands and barrettes) and talked up a storm. We all had a great time. Finally. Back to our family life. Hooray!

Half-way Done

Quick update - today is the half-way point of the Parade of Homes. So far, it's gone very well, especially considering that the Parade officials canceled it on Saturday due to the "blizzard." Luckily, DH went to the house anyway and visited with all the folks who stopped in throughout the entire day.

The house really turned out beautifully - I am so very proud of my DH. His aunt is coming over tonight to handle the girls so I can go out to the house and play hostess, which I'm really looking forward to.

The slower-than-molasses carpet layers didn't get out of the house until Friday afternoon, so I spent Friday morning picking up hanging wine racks and wine as the finishing touch for the kitchen. Soon after that, my friend, Joell, and I scrambled to finish cleaning up the house. She's the fastest cleaner I've ever seen. Then another friend and talented photographer, Shyla, drove the treacherous 8 miles out (it was seriously treacherous) to take pictures once the house was clean. We drove caravan style back to town, and I'm guessing it took about 45 minutes. I learned that my van handles like garbage and I was certain I was going to be blown into the ditch at any second.

Once I finally arrive home, I finished DH's website. I'd really wanted to include pictures of the house on his Parade of Homes link, but had to wait until the house was clean and then photographed. I'm certainly no website builder, but the price for labor was right, I guess. And who could you hire who'd be willing to do it so last minute - literally? Talk about a race to the finish. The main thing is - we made it. Hooray!

Workwise, I'm back on schedule with my freelancing - and there are no more foreseeable all-nighters lined up. I still haven't gotten to those baby announcements yet, or thank you notes either. My manners and etiquette have disappeared with the birth of baby C. But hopefully, no one will judge too harshly. And if they do, oh well. I invite any of the judgers to come spend 48 hours with us and then see what they have to say.

The next priority is the girls' second birthday party (their birthday is May 3). We're partnering up with some friends whose twins are the same age and doing a double-twin hoot'nanny on May 10th. The boys' mom has graciously offered to host the party at their house (thankfully - we have no room at our place). The boys' grandma is bringing miniature ponies for rides - can you believe it? Because it's a double party, we're keeping our guest lists very small. Otherwise, what a circus we'd have! My folks picked up some denim outfits and pink cowboy boots for Breanna and Lillian, and the girls can't get enough of clopping around in the boots. They're adorable!

As you can see, in our family, the chaos never ends. Sometimes it slows down a bit, but never to a level of relaxation, I'm afraid. I made it into bed at 11:58 last night, meeting my goal of hitting the sack by midnight. DH pointed out that while I was technically in bed, I was still up, lotioning my hands, chapsticking my lips, and saying prayers. Oh well. It was still much earlier than the last few weeks.

Still tired, but less stressed, I'm going to get back to work now. Soon I'll celebrate mid-week by meeting my dear sister for lunch. Hopefully she lets me rub her cute prego belly. I can't believe how much I miss being pregnant. Happy half-way through the week, my friends!

Curious?

Wondering what makes our first Parade house worthy of being entered in the Parade of Homes? Come check it out for yourself. The Parade starts this Saturday at noon - only a day and a half away. This Saturday and Sunday and next Saturday and Sunday, DH will be there from noon to 5. Weeknights this week he'll be there from 6:30 to 8:30.

I spent the afternoon and evening out there today to help with cleanup. I can't believe we're almost done. When I arrived today and saw that the carpet wasn't all in yet, I nearly flipped my lid. But after some under-my-breath very-ladylike-choice words, I locked myself away in a non-carpeted room to scrub away my frustrations. And I just have to say - I am so proud of my dear hubby. The house has turned out beautifully. He certainly designed an ideal home for a family of 5.

The more time I'm there, the more I love the Jack and Jill bath. And the woods. And the stamped patio. And the office. I didn't really connect with the office until today when my cleaning friend said she could easily envision me writing away in the room. Until then, I'd simply pictured DH in there. Once I checked out the view, I realized that it would likely have been my favorite room.

It's an 8-minute drive from Fargo. You can click here for directions to the house in Mapleton, and then just follow the signs (which I'm going to pick up and post tomorrow morning).

Please make the trip and introduce yourself to my builder extraordinairre. He's worried that no one will drive out because of the weather and the great big distance of 8 miles. Show up. Satisfy your curiosity. Say hello to my favorite guy in the world. And enjoy the hard work and creativity that went into our very first Parade house.

Anyone up for babysitting?

I'm trying to prepare for the backups that I might need come Thursday and Friday evening. Anyone up for a few after-work hours with the kiddos? You could take just the twins or all three, if you'd like. (Although, I'd recommend two sitters if you're going to take all three.)

Just let me know!

Exhaused and Swamped

The end of the chaos is near - and we've officially begun Hell Week. From here until Saturday morning (when the Parade of Homes begins) we'll be flying through sheer madness, but then we can all relax for a while. I think. I hope.

My neice from Idaho ended up coming home with us last-minute yesterday, so my plans for last night and today were completely rearranged. We all thoroughly enjoyed having some time with her, although the timing couldn't have been worse. Of course, she was none the wiser.

Once this weekend rolls around and I get a chance to catch my breath, I'll update on the wedding and everything else that's kept us hopping. To give you a hint, this past weekend was more stressful for me than either of my two weddings. I'm more tired today than I was when I first came home from the hospital with Grant, too, if it tells you anything.

I'm going to hit the sack for a couple hours so that once the girls are in bed for the night tonight, I can go full-force to get my work done - likely into the night. And then hopefully tomorrow will start to be a little regular-ish.

See ya later!

Jinxed

I jinxed myself when I was pompously bragging about being done with DH's construction errands today. He called this afternoon and asked me to pack up Big G and head off to the lumber yard. The day went downhill from there. Oh well.

Here it is, 1:25 a.m. and I'm finally getting a free moment. So what do I do? Sit at the computer and blog. What is wrong with me? Time to straighten up and call it a night, I guess.

Dirt waits. Life goes on.

Is it a bad sign that you consider the day a success if you get to bed by 1:30? If that's the case, I've only had a few successful days in the last few weeks.

The house is coming along beautifully. I've spent a few days out there recently, helping with odds and ends, like puttying nail holes, scraping varnish off windows, vacuuming, washing interior windows, and wiping down cabinets. At lunchtime today, I ran a crock of cheesy barbecue sandwiches and chips and dessert out to the site. Less than two weeks to go until it's officially done!

On a happy note, that was the only trip I had to make to the jobsite, or anywhere else today. Normally, it feels like DH has me running all over town, picking up and dropping off stuff. In the meantime, I'm putting together the marketing materials for the house and for my hubby's company, working with the realtor, handling DH's office stuff and emails, as well as trying to put together the girls' second birthday party. And doing my freelance work (which is what usually what keeps me up into the middle of the night - it's easiest once the phone stops ringing and DH crashes into bed).

On top of all that, DH's great uncle, Harry, who was kind of a little involved with DH and me meeting, fell and broke his hip this week. He's at the hospital in town now, and I know he'd love to see the kiddos, so I'm going to have to squeeze in a little visit sometime soon. He'll be here for at least two weeks, so I'm sure we can find some time somewhere in here.

Beyond all that chaos, not much else is happening. I haven't even dusted this month or vacuumed yet this week. Oh well. Dirt waits. Life goes on.

Crash Course in Time Expectations

I finally know why my husband's schedule is so unpredictable. His ideas about time are very different from mine. When he asks me to help him out at our house for a half day, that doesn't mean 4 - 5- maybe even 6 hours of work. Half day in his eyes is half of a 24-hour day. We spent an exhausting Saturday at the jobsite together, Grant in tow. What a trooper he was! And what a nice time for DH and me to work side by side again. I've missed him so much lately, and we had great conversations throughout the day. Some silly. Some deep. Some nostalgic. All good.

I swept and vacuumed for hours, cleaned spindles, scrubbed cupboards, and carried load after load of garbage (mostly cardboard, sawdust, scrap wood, and empty pop bottles) out to the garage, and then out to the dumpster.

Filthy and beat, we finally returned home as the sun was going down. We quickly changed clothes, blew the black out of our noses (how gross!), packed an overnight bag, and headed to DH's hometown for the bachelor/ette parties. I didn't even need to come up with an excuse - I was so beat that I wouldn't have been able to do any kind of quality brain work or anything social anyway. Plus, my hair looked like crud because of all the dust and dirt in it. I haven't been that piggish in ages.

My mother-in-law was the only grown-up in the house by the time we finally arrived, and she was glad we were later because that meant she got out of the party, too. She'd stated from the beginning that she'd go to the house party at the beginning, but when the group headed out to the bars, that's when she'd head home. We timed it just right, I guess. She and I sat up and oohed and aahed at Grant's cuteness, and visited about all kinds of light topics. It was a pleasant day all in all.

Today, we visited with family here from Idaho and the Twin Cities. Our girls went to the park twice and enjoyed going down the slides and on the swings. They also enjoyed a wagon ride as Grandpa pulled them in laps around the living room and kitchen area. Those girls are so darned cute!

We arrived back home again at sunset. After getting everyone ready for bed, I spent the remainder of my Sunday evening at the computer, doing the work that I'd actually planned for Saturday night. Finished for the day now, I'm going to brush my teeth and hit the sack. And it's before midnight! Hooray for an early night! (How sick is it that anything before 1 a.m. qualifies for early these days?)

Have a terrific spring week ahead, my friends.

Pretties or Comfies

After posting the picture of Lillian with undies around her neck, I've received a lot of ribbing about showing my drawers on the internet. Considering how they're being modeled, though, I still don't think it's a problem. After all, they're just a bunch of colorful, interesting fabrics when worn around the neck.

You see, I have a drawer of pretties and a drawer of comfies. Obviously, Lilli found the pretties.
My drawer of comfies is nearly empty, but it does hold a never-been-worn 3-pack of Hanes giganto panties.

DH was kind enough to pick them up for me at the drug store (of all places!) before I came home from the hospital after having the twins. Smart man that he is, he figured my regular undies would hit at my C-section incision. He even called my sister to ask what size she thought I'd need. Little did he know that because I'm so short-waisted and the undies are so obnoxiously huge, they'd come up over my ribs. Seriously. And they're in various lavender floral patterns. Needless to say, while they were washed, they've never been worn for more than the 5 seconds it took me to pull them up and tuck them under my bra (well, almost anyway).

Lucky for Lilli she got into the pretties or else she would have smothered under those comfies. So why do I still have a whole drawer dedicated to comfies that contains only three pairs, which I don't wear? Good question. Anyone have a good suggestion for what I should do with them?

A "great" morning in the life

I have all three kiddos home with me today. While we're all in good spirits for the most part, we're wearing ourselves out. Or more accurately, the kids are wearing me out. The girls are refusing to wear pants or socks today. Great.

After breakfast, I was feeding Grant on the couch, listening to the crunches coming from the dining area of our apartment.

Nothing harmful sounding - just crunching.

I burped Grant and then investigated, only to find that the girls were taking item after item off the pantry shelves and tossing each thing over their shoulders. They emptied boxes of cake mixes (thankfully didn't open the bags - but which flavor goes with which will be a surprise), emptied a box of oatmeal packets, dumped out a container half-filled with jasmine rice, pulled tea bags out of their boxes, and were just diving into the cappuccino tins when I rounded the corner. Great, now here's another area they can get into that will likely drive me insane.

Right before lunch, Lilli found a black sharpie and secretly put on some "makeup" behind her little Dora kitchen in the living room. Right in front of me but out of sight. Ususally when she sits back there, she puts together puzzles. Great. I called the 800-number for Sharpie and the customer service rep said to just wash with soap and water for a few days and it would wear off. Ah, no, we will not being going out with faded marker on our faces. Turns out a little diluted nail polish remover works like a charm.

Then at nap time, Breanna went down like a champ. We've had to separate the girls to get them to sleep, so Lilli has to take naps in a pack and play in our bedroom. (The first day I tried the separation, Breanna scaled the side of the p-n-p and got into all kinds of mischief - like emptying my jewelry armoire, digging in the candles, eating my chapstick, emptying the spare change vase, bending the blinds, finding one of dad's exacto knives, etc.)

After about 20 minutes of peace and quiet, I heard Lillian crying. When I went to investigate, I just had to burst out laughing. She'd reached up and emptied three drawers of my lingerie. All the bras were in the bottom of the p-n-p. And all the panties were around her neck, and she was crying because she was so hot. I remembered my friend Crystal's comment about how every time her twins do something naughty, she usually laughs and grabs the camera before remembering to scold. I followed suit, so here's Lillian in all her intimate glory.

All has been quiet for close to a half hour now, but damn it anyway, some delivery jerk just rang the doorbell, and guess who woke up? All three. So much for my break.

I don't think I have cancer

Have you ever wondered if you're a closet hypochondriac? I know that when I developed a fast-growing lump in my neck right after I came back from Cozumel, I thought for sure it was lymphoma. Panicky, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to jinx myself until I heard it from a doctor. Why didn't I think it might be a reaction to that jellyfish sting? My lymphoma scare was most likely triggered by knowing a friend at that time who'd had that kind of cancer in close to the same spot on his neck - which had started as a strange lump.

I also once danced with the idea that I might have had a cataract. Turns out I just had a hole in my contact lens, which I discovered just one day after my paranoia began. My mom also was going through eye trouble at the time, so it was fresh on my mind.

Then there was the time that our next-door neighbor told us that radon in her last house was what killed first her dog, then her fiance, and then gave her cancer before they realized the house was full of radon... Of course, I ran out and got a test kit immediately - even though my house was only two years old. And then I began questioning my tiredness over the previous weeks. Could cancer be wearing me down? How about those headaches I'd had? No radon. No cancer. Just some speculation.

This morning, I went to my 6-week postpartum checkup. When the doc asked if I had any concerns, I said, "Yeah, it's about a lump. It rolls when you press it and it's scary." She immediately thought breast, but then I explained it's on my back - kind of by my shoulder blade. I know it's not her area of expertise, but at least she could tell me if she suggests I go see someone whose area it is.

She matter-of-factly told me I have a muscle knot. Then she jokingly asked if DH has been slacking on his duties as the husband to a wife who's just given birth. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I couldn't even talk him into a back rub while I was IN the hospital, much less since I've been home.

Anyway, besides the knot, all is good. I'm still one pound heavier than when I found out I was pregnant, which means I'll be eating more carrots and less cookies to keep me going in the weeks ahead. And then someday soon, when I have a hubby around to help a little bit, I can actually make the time to cook and eat the stuff I really like (ahem - I miss having a griller in the house). If nothing else, I'll likely be able to dance off that last pound at the in-laws' wedding in a week and a half.

On a side note, I think that knowing the numbers of your weight is so extremely depressing. I have never owned my own scale, and except during pregnancies, I have never looked at the weight at the doctor's office. I even ask the nurse to not say it aloud because I'd simply rather not know. I prefer instead to go by how my clothes look and feel, and by paying attention to what kinds of foods are in my diet - I'm not into low-carb or high-protien, etc., but rather just heart healthy. But in hearing how some of my friends and family (and the media) obsess over a pound here and a pound there, oy, I think I'm alone in my avoidance of knowing. Oh well.